Archive for October 7th, 2006

Tassimo twatissimo

So I saw the adverts about ‘the perfect cup’ machines with one effortless touch of a button a while ago, but it only really hit home today when I was coffee shopping in my local Sainsbury’s.Cafe StyleBehold, a new growth sector…Cafe Style, note the accent on the e, so chic, so Frennnnnnch, it’s a agency’s wet dream.Here’s why it’s a nightmare.Tassimo coffee fuel cells | Cafe Direct COST. The Tassimo pods work out at £2.28 per 100g, . The Fair Trade Cafe Direct bag of coffee works out at £1.41 per 100g. That a saving of nearly a quid PER 100g. With the fair trade bag you get 227g, that’s enough for a lot of coffee, with the Tassimo pack you get 18x8g, or 144g. That means more trips to the shops to stock up. And people say they spend too much time shopping….COST OF MACHINE (at John Lewis)Tassimo machine – £99.95Traditional Stove top espresso maker – £24 or Traditional Cafetiere – £25Sure the Tassimo machine lets you make ‘ a variety of hot drinks, including cappuccino, tea and hot chocolate’ But the chances are you all ready own a kettle, and what’s wrong with making a pot of tea? And just how many hot chocolates a year do you really drink?PACKAGINGThe Cafe Direct stuff comes in one bag, that holds the coffee for it’s entire life, right down to the last few grains. The Tassimo pods, hold their contents until each one is used, then they’re thrown away to clog up landfills. This is the equivelent of selling flour in 100g packets, rather than in a bag.FAIR TRADEOne is, (the cafe direct), on isn’t (the other one), nuff said.People who buy this are essentially too lazy to spoon pre-ground coffee into any sort of chamber. This is the 21st Century equivalent of the Toastie maker, only worse. This device will be under the sink at the back within six months. This product/device fails on so many levels, cost to you, the coffee grower and the environment. We sometimes accept products in blocks, dishwashing tablets for example, but not the British cuppa or our new found love of coffee. If anything we want the steam, the spooning, the grinding, the playing at being Barista. It also keeps consumers stupid, buying different mixes of the same product, no learning, no tasting. As for reviews? Well I’ve read a press release or two in my time, and look at this, and Irogers has only reviewed two times, both about the Tassimo. Google Tassimo + rubbish and what comes back is not, ‘it’s rubbish’, but about clearing our your kitchen ‘rubbish’. That’s right, you’re dirty, your kitchen in full of stuff you don’t need says Kraft.So why are they saying this? Simple, it the Gillette model, give away the razors (only in this case it’s £99), make a packet on the blades… It locks people into one source, thus keeping them brand loyal. ‘got six dinner guests, but only 5 Tassimo coffee fuel cells… you’re fucked, bet you go without’ Where’s the fun in that? So if you’re asking yourself ‘should I buy a Tassimo?’ No they’re for twats.


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These are my personal views and not those of Channel 4 or the BBC
October 2006
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