Not fairy good at all

I cannot express enough my contempt for the recent London ‘don’t litter’ ad campaign featuring the London Litter Fairy. As if people who litter believe in fairies? As if anyone believes in fairies? It’s not even as if London is even synonymous with fairies! Cottingley yes, but London, a massive city of over 800,000 people?

But then to back it up with poetry… rhyming poetry as well, arrrgh! It’s too much! Warning, read this and you’ll be sick BAD LITTER POETRY IN FULL

In the stillness of the night, Does a fairy, put things right?
No, teams of badly paid and exploited individuals do at anti social hours, they’re often from poor backgrounds or are working illegally. Just another part of Brtain’s grey economy, they do the jobs no one else wants to do.

Does she clear up all your litter, Crisps, kebabs, old cans of bitter?
Genius getting bitter to rhyme there. Honestly, when was the last time you saw a can of bitter in the street? Some one let CAMRA know…

Or tidy up beneath the stars, Fag-butts tossed from passing cars?
..or the 100’s of cig ends left by groups of smokers outside offices, but that don’t rhyme.

And…as night slides gently in to day, Will all your litter have gone away?
Arrgh!, we are not children! we can understand the concept of litter and social responsiblity This has to be written by a 15 year old girl from the countryside who likes the Pre-Raphaelites.

What next? ‘Save energy, turn out the light’ says the power pixie?

Here’s what they should have done in 72 pt type:

Londoners, it cost £100 million a year to clean the streets of litter, that’s your money and could be spent on transport, hospitals, the homeless and schools if you helped keep your city cleaner – Think on!

Knobbers…

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